Jan Haldane - How To Have A Happy Relationship

Happy couples have 5 positive interactions for each negative one. Conversely, couples whose relationships ultimately end in divorce, have just 0.8 happy encounters for every one negative interaction.

The determining factor in whether couples feel satisfied with the sex, romance and passion is, by 70%, the quality of their friendship with each other. Studies show that happy people talk more. In fact, people in the most successful marriages spend 5 more hours a week being together and talking.

It’s important to treat your partner as you would a close friend. Work on having several positive interactions each day:

• Give a compliment
• Show appreciation for your partner
• Relive an enjoyable memory
• Do something nice for them

In this crazy busy world, it’s all too easy to forget to make time for intimacy. The happiest couples are reported to have sex 2 to 3 times per week. More sex and intimacy leads to more joy. People who have sex every few days are 55% more likely to report higher levels of happiness than those that have infrequent sex. Even having sex once a week makes people 44% more likely to have positive feelings.

A crucial factor for strengthening you relationship is to celebrate your partner’s successes. It’s soul destroying to get good news and be met with indifference from your partner when you share this with them. Make sure you show enthusiasm, ask questions, relive the excitement and congratulate them.

Do something different together. Couples who have new experiences together report feeling more loving and supportive towards one another, and more satisfied with their relationships. Challenge each other to come up with something new that you will both enjoy. Even on a tight budget, there are plenty of activities to try.

Couples in the happiest relationships bring out the best in each other. They empower each other to grow as individuals without feeling threatened. In one study, couples who were asked to recall a moment that involved shared laughter, reported being more satisfied in their relationship than those prompted to recall positive moments in their relationship.

All couples have disagreements. The difference is that happy couples tend to defuse the tension by showing humour, expressing affection and conceding on certain points their partner makes. Unhappy couples use criticism, contempt, eye rolling, defensiveness and verbal abuse when fighting, thus eroding the love and trust they once had.

What’s one thing you can do this week to create a happier relationship?