Jan Haldane - Stop the Criticism and Love Yourself

If we were as critical of our friends as we are of ourselves, I wonder how many friends we would actually have? We are often our own biggest critic and this needs to stop now.

How can we truly love ourselves if we are constantly self critical? Instead of ruminating over the same old stuff that’s been going through your mind for years, be kind to yourself.

There’s usually one area where we tend to be endlessly self critical. Your mind gets into a negative groove which in turn becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Ask yourself, “What can I do for you to make you happy?” This is most powerful when said in front of a mirror. If this seems too hard at first, try saying it away from the mirror in a quiet place. Just relax and see what answers come to you. What would really honour you? Sometimes it takes a while to come though as we’ve spent so much of our life giving to other people, that we no longer know what we actually want from life.

Make changes in your routine or thought patterns if there is a particular activity that prompts self criticism. For instance, if you use your morning shower as a ‘boardroom meeting’ where you plan your day, you may end up feeling totally overwhelmed before your work day has even started. Alternatives would be having a shower before you go to bed or focussing on good thoughts only in the shower e.g. “I am showered with good thoughts all day long.”

All changes take time and if you find yourself slipping back into the self critical thinking, just acknowledge the thought and replace it with something positive. Remind yourself that you’re in the process of letting this go.

Treat yourself with patience, gentleness and kindness, as you would a child. Tell yourself, “it’s okay, it’ll work out” as you let go of the negativity and the anger.

Our thoughts are powerful. Think good thoughts to attract good things into your life.

Don’t forget to praise yourself for all the good things you do. While criticism breaks down the inner spirit, praise brings it up.


Good luck!