John Cowan - Emotional Journal

I recently came across an old diary of mine from decades ago. I am not an especially angry person but, wow! … in one entry I really let rip about some people who had treated me badly. I had even drawn a picture of the event.  And that was that. In the pages that followed,  there was nothing more about it. No plots to blow up their house or poison their cats… I was over it.  I do recall the event, and I also recall, decades later, how cathartic and helpful it was to write out my feelings.

Some children  – and probably a lot of adults, too  – need a way to unload their emotions. If your child is  upset or angry, and is unable to talk about it,  ask her to write her feelings down on paper or in a journal. They can express themselves through words or drawings.  If they chose to share it (and don’t automatically assume they will), tell them they can post what they’ve written like a letter by popping it under your pillow, and that you will write back.  You can see what is going on  – or their perspective on it, anyway – and you can post back your expression of love and support.

Here’s the thing – don’t be surprised if they don’t ‘post the letter’ to you: like I discovered in my diary, the mere act of writing it all out might be all the processing they need to do.  Could they text to you instead of writing? I suppose so, but something romantic in me still likes the idea of the emotion flowing onto paper and being captured there. And you never know – they may read it again in forty years’ time and smile like I did.  

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About John

John has been with The Parenting Place (www.theparentingplace.com) for seventeen years as their senior writer and presenter.  He had various roles working with youth and families prior to that but actually started his working life as a scientist in neurophysiology at Auckland Hospital.  As well as writing and speaking, John is frequently on radio and television.