John Cowan - Everyday Rituals

I want to talk about rituals – but I’m not going to be sacrificing chickens and dancing around dressed in robes or war paint – it’s not that type of ritual. The rituals I mean are the little habits in your home that happen often. They take so much hassle out of family life  –  you get into a routine of doing things and you can just relax into the pattern. You don’t have to think hard... “What do I have to do?” and reinvent the wheel every time you do something, you just slip into your ritual.

You might have a “Let’s go to the playground” ritual, and straight away, as soon as you announce it, they know they have to go and find their boots and hats and get sun block on and put the leash on the dog. Rather than giving half a dozen instructions, the whole sequence rolls out like clockwork… well, eventually. Like everything it takes time to get things running smoothly.

You might have a setting the table ritual, or a leaving for school ritual, or welcoming visitors ritual.

Rituals give a sense of security and belonging. When my kids were little I would carry them around the house, saying goodnight to all the people, pets and even the family photos on the wall. Then off into the bedroom for a little chat or story. The predictability of it just fed into their sense that ‘Everything is as it should be!” and they can relax in that.

There will be lots of opportunities for rituals all through the day when you start to look out for them. And you will be amazed how quickly kids will pick them up usually – do it twice, and it’s a ritual.

And if you really do want to do the chicken sacrificing ritual, make sure you put lots of newspaper down on the floor first!

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