Robbie Williams Netflix docuseries: Five things we learned, from Geri Horner, Ayda Field splits to on-stage panic attack

Since making his music debut in 1990 as one-fifth of the iconic boy band Take That, Robbie Williams has held a special place in the hearts of many.

Following him throughout his 25-year-long career through all the highs, like the release of his world-dominating single Angels, to the lows, such as his drug and alcohol addictions, fans have watched on, sold out shows and sung his songs at the top of their lungs.

Now, they are able to connect with Williams in an entirely new way - through his hotly anticipated self-titled Netflix docuseries.

Covering topics from his relationship with Ayda Field - his partner of almost 20 years - to his fatherhood journey, the star has opened up about what keeps him grounded and what keeps him happy.

But it isn’t all sunshine and fairy tales, as he’s also touched on more difficult topics, like his addiction battle, publicised feud with fellow Take That bandmate Gary Barlow and the difficulties of living such a public life.

And while the docuseries has received criticism for not providing “enough” insight into his life, it still contained multiple shocking, surprising and admirable moments.

(Spoilers below the trailer)

Here are five things we learned from the Robbie Williams docuseries:

1. Gary Barlow feud

The pair were never a love match when it came to friendship, and now Williams has revealed why.

Discussing his feud with bandmate Gary Barlow, the pop star revealed his feud with his should-be-friend all came from the fact that Williams disliked him so much and had so much pent-up jealousy toward him, that it became “vengeful”.

In the Netflix documentary, he explained to his daughter, Teddy, 11, that he was deeply jealous of Barlow and his talents, claiming Barlow was the star that “was supposed to have everything and the career”, which left a bitter taste in the popstar’s mouth. “I wanted to make him pay. I was vengeful.”

Williams then said he ultimately made Barlow “pay” by “having the career that he was supposed to have”. He continued to confess that during the rise of the boy band, Barlow seemed to be the one managing Take That and it was “all geared around him”.

“And as a young person, I would have been jealous of that. A lot of me resented him. I was going home from those days thinking, ‘This is weird and uncomfortable’. It’s Lord of the Flies stuff.”

Once the pair’s feud reached its peak with Williams declaring Barlow “dead” before calling him a “p****” on stage, he later apologised and said in the documentary, “I’m sorry that I treated Gary like that.”

2. Record label drama

In the months after his departure from Take That, Williams was determined to make a name for himself as a solo artist, but it proved much harder than he anticipated and almost saw him dropped from his record label, Chrysalis.

Recalling the failure of multiple single releases, something that Williams confessed wouldn’t be allowed to happen if he were a new artist now, he said, “My career was falling off a cliff.”

“Then a memo goes ‘round the record company - I am about to be dropped, and it looks as though that’s it for the Williams boy ... but in my back pocket, I had something special.”

That something special was his hit single Angels, which would catapult the star into international fame. “Something was connecting and you could just feel this momentum, the rocket taking off.”

Admitting he doesn’t know “what it is that’s so special about this song”, he said, “whatever it is, it has it”, and he couldn’t be more right. The song remains his best-selling single and was the 34th best-selling UK single of the ‘90s.

3. Ayda and Robbie’s secret split

The couple shared plenty of inside secrets about their romance throughout the documentary, including that they first thought they had “nothing in common”. However, the biggest confession was perhaps the news they briefly split while Williams was in rehab.

After his battle with drug and alcohol abuse reached a head in 2007, the star’s management had no choice but to step in and suggest Williams enter rehab.

At the time, the couple decided to split up so Williams could focus on his recovery. “He [was] like, ‘I can’t be in a relationship and I have to get better, I have to break up with you’,” Field recalled.

“I understood it because I saw he was unwell, and I remember thinking, ‘I just want you to get better, whatever you need to do’, and I was just so crestfallen. He was my soulmate, and then he was gone.”

Once Williams completed his time in the facility, he and Field found their way back to each other and took a trip to Morocco, where they rekindled their romance.

“There was a cementing of a relationship between me and my future wife, but if you’d asked me what I was doing during that, I wouldn’t know that,” Williams said, adding, “There became enough space between me and my career to fall in love.”

They went on to marry in 2010 and welcomed three children, Theodora “Teddy” Rose, 11, Charlton “Charlie” Valentine, 9, and Colette “Coco” Josephine, 5.

4. On-stage panic attack

During 2006, the star was struggling with his alcohol and drug addiction, so much so it was impacting his day-to-day life. “I couldn’t speak, I kept shaking and I was going through trauma. We got back to the hotel last night, and everybody’s world ended. I had some sleeping tablets to get to sleep, as I was never gonna go to sleep thinking about a gig tomorrow,” he said.

When he woke up, he turned to his manager Josie Cliff and said, “Josie, I can’t go on stage tonight. I’m not getting on.”

However, the Rock DJ singer recalled cancelling the Leeds show would end up costing him and his team money and could have seen the end of his career. “Everyone’s livelihood around me would be devastated.”

Ultimately, he decided to go through with the show, but his nerves didn’t get any better, and by the time he arrived on stage, he was “absolutely petrified”.

“I got in the helicopter and I saw the crowd and I was okay, and then I went into a pit of absolute self-annihilation. I was absolutely petrified... That tour, it broke something. I don’t get any less tired, I don’t get any less panicky, and my psyche eats itself. And the worst is yet to come.”

5. Doomed Geri Horner relationship

In the ‘90s, the Spice Girls and Robbie Williams were at the peak of their fame, so it came as no surprise when he and Horner began dating in 2000. But Williams confesses in his documentary that it was doomed from the start, as it began while he was attending AA meetings.

“Our relationship starts when I’m in AA – you’re told not to get into a relationship in the first year, and I get it – I can’t even look after a cactus let alone somebody else,” he said.

During their brief relationship – which lasted a couple of months – the pair would holiday in the south of France together, and Williams confessed they had a lot of fun. “I just found her company very, very easy. There was a silliness. We really got on really well. It was fun.”

Bonding over both leaving the bands that made them, Horner previously told Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, “It was a very poignant friendship. I was lonely and felt he was the only person on the planet who could understand me because of his experiences with Take That,” she said at the time. “We understood each other. But I didn’t really go out with him. I am happy and healthy now.”

However, things took a turn as rumours that Horner was calling paparazzi to snap pictures of them together plagued their relationship. While it was reportedly just that, a rumour, Williams believed them and blamed his then-girlfriend, allowing it to ruin “such a joyous part in my life”.

“Now, I don’t think that’s true for one second, but at the time I did believe it,” he said, adding, “It just goes to show what being in the spotlight can do to your psyche, when you can’t trust anybody.”

Despite the demise of their relationship, Williams immortalised their time together by writing his hit single Eternity with his songwriting partner Guy Chambers.

“It was a very confusing relationship because she’s a girl and I’m a boy,” he said, adding, “We are very good friends, trying to sort out the wreckage of the past...

“I had a friendship with our Ginger that meant a lot to me, in a time when I felt I didn’t have any relationships that I felt completely comfortable with.”

This article was first published by the NZ Herald by Lillie Rohan and is republished here with permission.