Why mums are leaving gift cards in nappy boxes — and sharing it on social media

A discovery in the Target baby aisle reminded one woman how much mothers sacrifice. She paid it forward, and others followed suit with ‘she deserved the purse’.

Mums throughout the United States are anonymously buying gift cards or leaving cash in baby items at Target and Walmart stores — all because Denaesha Gonzalez saw a misplaced purse.

The Nashville mum was with her 2-year-old son in her local Target this month when she noticed a familiar sight — a silver clutch handbag that retails for US$20 ($32) misplaced on the shelf of the baby aisle. To the 28-year-old, this meant something deeper: a mum with a young child sacrificed something she wanted, to buy something for her baby.

“I’ve found myself several times wishing I could get something but couldn’t. I’ve gone through seasons of lack where we could only afford just the essential things,” Denaesha told the Washington Post in a Zoom interview.

She posted a 17-second video with the text, “SHE DESERVED THE PURSE” to the sound of a woman exhaling, in the hope it would resonate with mothers — her video has since gone viral with more than 20 million views. It also has inspired people to hide money in diaper boxes and formula containers to allow a mum who is struggling to buy something for herself.

“I haven’t had my hair done in years. My nails done in years. My clothes come from Walmart. We can’t afford childcare,” one mother wrote under Denaesha's video. “But my babies have what they need. One day, I’ll have the purse, just not today.”

The hashtag #shedeservedthepurse challenge took off last week when mum influencer Cecily Bauchman told her 2 million followers that Denaesha's video had inspired her. Cecily then posted a vlog of her buying a US$100 Target gift card. On the back of the receipt she wrote, “Hey! You deserve that special ‘you’ thing. You are amazing!” She slipped the gift card and note in a package of Huggies diapers.

The overwhelming response in the comments were from mums expressing the same sentiment — that they often neglect themselves. “As a mum who puts stuff back all the time to get stuff for my babies … this made me tear up,” one comment read.

“I was a struggling mum of 4. I’m in a better position to pay it forward now. Doing this Thursday on my day off!” another mum wrote.

There are now nearly 150 TikTok videos of mums, many of them crying, sitting in their cars talking about their experiences and then showing themselves going into stores to “pay it forward”.

Katie Beach, a stay-at-home mother of a 2-year-old boy and 2-month-old girl, told the Post the videos had affected her deeply. She shared the videos with her group chat of mum content creators and encouraged them to give back. Last Friday, she went to her local Target and bought four US$50 gift cards, then went to the customer service desk and borrowed tape. She stuck the gift cards, the receipt and a note on various formula containers.

For Katie, this trend emphasises the supportive network that social media can play for mums.

“Social media was always an aspirational place where people weren’t really showing the truth,” Beach said. “I think recently, as we all start to show more of the truth, it makes motherhood feel so much less alone.”

She says this type of content has created solidarity among mothers of young children and validates their feelings and that she plans on buying more gift cards and going to Walmart this week.

Some mums are also directly giving gift cards to other mothers at stores. Danielle Stanley, a 27-year-old mum of two, wanted to give a gift to “the right person”.

Early on Monday morning, after dropping off her 5-year-old son at school, she sat in a Walmart parking lot and noticed a mum by herself with a car seat in one arm, carrying a newborn with a baby bag. Danielle remembered “what the trenches of the newborn phase” were like and wanted to bring the stranger some joy.

After purchasing a US$100 gift card, she found the mum in the baby aisle and watched her put items back that she wanted for herself. Danielle told the mum what she was doing and handed the gift card to her.

“Seriously? Seriously?” the shocked mum can be heard saying in the video. “Thank you for being an amazing mum,” Danielle told her before the two hugged.

This article was first published by Amber Ferguson for the Washington Post and is republished here via the NZ Herald with permission.